I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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