that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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