sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize