chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
