we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize