sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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