There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
