Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
