i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
