we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
