shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize