Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize