I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
