Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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