Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
