then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
