There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
its liver damage thursday
Randomize