the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
