is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
