wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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