i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize