He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
