I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
