Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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