Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
