I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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