i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
