I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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