Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
