4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize