Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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