sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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