The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
