I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize