Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
