On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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