im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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