I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
