Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
