cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
