Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
