she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
