Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize