'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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