i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize