i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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