had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
