His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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