She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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