He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
