i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
