It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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