I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
