the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize