You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
