im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
