Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
