You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize