It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
