he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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