her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
