Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
