last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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