So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
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