I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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