no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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