Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
