what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
